Can Deceased Visit us in Dreams? Answers From a Medium

When a loved one passes away, many of us hope they will visit us in our dreams. After all, there are plenty of stories about visitation dreams. So you may wonder if deceased can visit us in dreams.

Deceased loved ones can visit us in dreams. But a number of deceased choose not to communicate through appearing in your dreams. And bereaved are not equally perceptive to a visitation dream. While it is possible for deceased to visit us in dreams, the experience is not meant for everyone.

Most people who have lost a loved one either expect or hope to be visited by their loved ones in their dreams. That’s understandable and it can be a wonderful experience that can give you comfort and healing.

It’s a common belief that it would be easier for their loved ones to come through in a visitation dream. And sometimes that is indeed the easiest way to communicate. But it isn’t always the case. And not everyone is meant to receive a visit from their loved ones in their dreams. So what does that mean for you?

Being able to perceive a loved one in a visitation dream is a bit like being a medium. You need to be able to match your energy to dream communication. And just like with mediumship, not everyone has a natural ability to do so.

So if you aren’t born with an innate ability to tune in to a visitation dream, you won’t receive any messages through your dreams. If you haven’t received a visit from a loved one in your dreams, it could simply mean you don’t have that ability. But I don’t want you to be discouraged. There are plenty of ways to communicate with your loved ones other than dreams. Here’s an article I wrote if you want to know more about ‘how to communicate with your loved ones’.

A visitation dream isn’t only dependant on your natural ability for dream communication. It also depends on the ability of a loved one to come through. A lot of people assume that it is easy for spirit to appear in their dreams. But in fact, it takes a lot of energy. That is why most visitation dreams are short. And some loved ones prefer not to communicate through a visitation dream at all. If you are meant to be contacted, they’ll just reach out in other ways. So if you are not being contacted through a visitation dream, be sure to stay open to other means of communicating with your loved ones.

What Does it Mean When you Dream of a Deceased Loved One?

Coming through in a dream takes a lot of energy for your loved ones. If they do come through, it is for a reason. You’re certainly not alone if you wish to know what it means when you dream of a deceased loved one.

As a general rule when you dream of a deceased loved one it means they wish to convey reassurance and help you in the grieving process. Bereaved also say that a visitation dream leads to a change in their spiritual perspective and that they experience a greater internal sense of knowing.

Now sometimes a dream is just a dream. You may dream of your loved one based on your memories just like you would with any other dream. And some of the energy of your loved one is certainly present in that. So dreaming of your loved ones doesn’t have to carry a big life-changing meaning. It could also just be your loved ones directing your attention to a shared memory to remind you of your closeness. Also know that your loved ones are always aware and present of your life, even if they don’t come through in a dream.

A visitation dream is much more vivid and has a very specific meaning. Even for those who can receive visitation dreams they aren’t a very common occurrence. I’m a medium and I’ve only had a visitation dream three times. Some mediums never receive a visitation dream. So if it does happen it is because your loved ones wish to convey a feeling, reassurance or inner knowing. Each of the visitation dreams I received changed my spiritual perception in a meaningful way.

Are Visitation Dreams Similar for Everyone?

I can only go by my personal experience which isn’t much of a comparison. However, there is actually some scientific research on this. In her research Dr. J.E. Shorter (2010) found seven common aspects to visitation dreams*. The universal aspects of visitation dreams are:

    1. Deceased loved ones convey reassurance.
    2. Dreamers experience an internal sense of knowing.
    3. The message dreamers receive serves a purpose.
    4. Upon awakening dreamers feel intense and complex emotions.
    5. The visitation dream leads to a change in the dreamer’s spiritual perspective.
    6. The dream affects the grieving process.
    7. The dreamers message comes through telepathic means.

In my personal experience, visitation dreams were about telling me something I needed to hear. Sometimes the message is symbolic and its meaning is just known to you. Maybe a loved one gives you a flower, and their gone. Or you get a peck on the cheek and you gain an inner knowing what you needed to hear.

Loved ones communicate through thought so they don’t really need to talk to you, even in a dream. When you know, you just know. In mediumship this is referred to as claircognizance or ‘clear knowing’ but you can think of it as telepathic communication as well.

While the points listed are almost universal, don’t be upset if your visitation dream was different. I know of accounts where loved ones did speak and where it took more time to let the message sink in. Spirit doesn’t adhere to a strict set of rules and while there are commonalities, every visitation is also unique.

One rule that IS universal is that messages from spirit are always positive, encouraging, and healing. At the same time, experiencing nightmares is also common after bereavement. So how do nightmares relate to visitation dreams?

Visitation dreams are never nightmares. If there are post-traumatic symptoms following a loss, nightmares are more likely to occur. Please know these are not negative messages from loved ones. If you are experiencing nightmares after a loss I encourage you to seek professional counseling.

Can you Ask for Visitation Dreams?

You can ask for a visitation dream from a loved one. There is no harm in it. But with all we’ve discussed so far don’t be discouraged if they choose not to contact you in this way. It is much more common for loved ones to communicate through signs and gut feelings. And, contrary to dreams, everyone can pick up these signs. But if you block out your attention to them because you are solely focused on wanting a visitation dream, you might be missing out.

Besides both the dreamer and loved one being able to communicate through a dream, there is a third reason for visitation dreams to occur. It is the message itself. So even if you and your loved one can communicate through dreams, there must also be a meaningful spiritual reason to do so.

If you aren’t able to receive a visitation dream, loved ones simply find a different way to contact you. A loved one could appear to a family member’s dream with a message for you. They use others to relay messages all the time. As a medium I should know.

With gratitude,

Rick Vandermeer

* Shorter, J. E. (2010). Visitation dreams in grieving individuals: A phenomenological inquiry into the relationship between dreams and the grieving process (Doctoral dissertation, Institute of Transpersonal Psychology).