Do Deceased Loved Ones Miss You? Perspectives From Spirit

When someone you love passes away, the feeling of loss can be overbearing. You miss your loved ones and feel their absence in your life keenly. So it is understandable that you may feel unsure if your loved ones in Heaven also miss you.

Deceased loved ones do not miss you. To miss someone requires three things: negative emotion, physical separation, and time apart. In the afterlife, these do not exist which is why your loved ones are incapable of missing you. From their perspective, the relationship continues. There is no separation.

While it is perfectly natural to miss someone you love from your physical perspective, it is important to remember that for our loved ones who have passed, it is a very different experience. As a medium, I know nothing I can say will take away the grief you feel. But I also have found that gaining a better understanding of our loved ones’ perspective can help in your process of healing, and coping with feelings of loss.

In this article, I would like to share what I, and other mediums, have come to learn about how our loved ones view their relationship with us from their non-physical perspective. So that it may assist you in experiencing the healing benefits of their perspective and messages.

But what is healing anyway when you feel that your world has fallen apart? Healing doesn’t mean you no longer feel any grief or that things will go back to the way they were. That is impossible. And it is OK to miss, cry, be angry or have any other emotion about your loss. Every grief process is unique and everyone grieves in their own way.

Instead, healing means you accept and feel your grief and loss without letting it hold you back from fully living your life. There is a duality to life where you learn to hold the grief and the healing. The loss and the light. And your loved ones are all about assisting you in this process of growth.

Why Don’t Our Deceased Loved Ones Miss Us?

So why do your deceased loved ones not miss you? The simple answer is because they don’t have to. They would much rather love you instead.

You see, missing someone is all about separation, while loving someone is all about connection. And your loved ones in Heaven are fully and lovingly connected to you in every moment. There is no separation in Heaven, only connection.

Our loved ones never leave us when they pass to the afterlife. It is in fact quite the opposite. They are available to us constantly, in every moment, supporting and loving us. And even if you’ve experienced some distance during your relationship in this world – and who doesn’t? – negative emotions such as blame, fear, or jealousy, that might have been present here, stay here when our loved ones pass on. We might still feel those emotions from time to time. But they do not. Only love. Heaven is made from connection, not separation or negative emotions. One of the reasons loved ones cannot miss you is because they cannot experience negative emotions.

Loved ones do not experience negative emotions in the afterlife. Negative emotions are always the result of needs not being met. In the afterlife, all needs are met instantly and any ailments and infirmities a person experienced during their physical existence are left behind.

When a loved one passes, they remain the same individual as they were during their life, except they discard their physical bodies. Passing to the spirit world doesn’t mean your loved one travels to some far-off place to gaze at you from a cloud in the skies above. Passing is instead a shift from the physical world to the spirit world. It is a transformation from one state of consciousness into another, not a physical journey.

From their perspective, in many ways, they are closer to you than they ever were before. Consider it, many of us only see our favorite relatives who live far away during holidays or birthdays. But when a loved one passes to the spirit world, they are available to us constantly.

Your loved ones who have passed are involved in your life in more ways than you can imagine, maybe even in more ways than they were during their lifetime. They are present to offer healing and guidance, and to remind you of your life’s purpose and share in your important moments.

And everything that is important to you is still important to them as well. They still care about births, graduations, weddings, reunions, and any other meaningful moments just as much as you do. They are fully there to share and experience those moments.

Loved Ones Don’t Miss You and Don’t Miss Out

Your loved ones don’t miss you because they never miss out on any moments that are important to you, big or small. In other words, they don’t miss out on anything.

It is especially in times that are meaningful to you, that loved ones send you signs to let you know they are there enjoying the moment with you. And they aren’t necessarily subtle signs either. Flickering lights, a butterfly landing on your hand, your favorite song on the radio. Have you ever noticed how spirit will try to direct your attention to signs that are meaningful to you or have been to the both of you?

You really don’t have to be a medium to notice signs, although there needs to be some awareness of what is going on in the world around you. It can be harder to notice signs when grief is so overwhelming that we draw into ourselves and shut out the world. It is important to stay as open as we can be. But don’t beat yourself up if you’re having a hard time staying open. Because even though our loved ones don’t miss us or feel separation, they do understand that we are still living in the physical world and do miss them.

While is it good to know that your loved ones in heaven are doing just fine – don’t miss you – and are very involved in your life right now. It doesn’t take away the fact that many of us here in the physical world, do feel the sting of separation. We can’t hold hands, give hugs, or lay our head on a loved one’s shoulder like we used to. Chores around the house, responsibilities that used to be shared, now fall to us. That can feel incredibly lonely.

Don’t Miss Out on Your Loved Ones

Because we can’t physically perceive our loved ones, it can feel as though our relationship with them is over. But nothing could be further from the truth. The relationship with your loved ones is eternal. It can never cease to exist, but it has transformed. And with the transformation comes a different way we can connect to them so we won’t miss them as much.

Our loved ones don’t miss us but we sure miss them. The reason they don’t miss us is because of the three factors I mentioned earlier:

    • No negative emotion
    • No physical separation
    • No time apart

If we could see them as they see us, we wouldn’t miss them either. So is there anything we can learn from their perspective to reduce our own feelings of loss? There is. Here’s what I found to be true.

The fact that your loved ones are not in physical form means that they are only a thought away. Spirit communicates through thought. All you need to do to connect more fully to them is think about them. And thinking about a meaningful moment makes it even easier for you to feel their presence. And because time and place do not exist in the spirit world, it takes no time for them to be present.

Still, it is not the same as the easier connection you had while they were physical and you could just reach out to hold their hand. But the connection is there and powerfully so. It takes a little practice to look for your loved ones where they are in spirit, and to not go looking for them where they are not, which only makes you feel more lonely.

There are a ton of easy ways to connect to your loved ones so you won’t miss them as much. You can be open to signs, write down a happy memory you share, and stay with it for as long as it feels comfortable, or you can do something you used to do together. If you used to drink tea together, pour your loved one a cup as well. And you can talk to them at any moment, it doesn’t even have to be out loud. In doing these things their continued presence will become obvious to you. It has been a life-changing healing experience for me. I hope it can do the same for you.

So now, you still have to do those chores without them physically there to help you out. That doesn’t change. But spirit will give you gut feelings about how to handle your physical existence in a way that contributes to your happiness. Those inklings you get, come from your loved ones to help you move through grief, find healing, and fulfill your life’s purpose.

Your loved ones know that you in your physical existence have a harder time perceiving them than they do you, and that life in the physical world can be a lot harder than being in the spirit world. Sometimes people feel like loved ones are held back in spirit because of their grief. But that is never true. Your grief only affects your ability to perceive them because you are focused on where they are not. It doesn’t affect their ability to perceive you or hold them back in any way.

To Share a Memory

The spirit world is all around us. Mediums sense it better than most people because we can tune in to its higher vibrations. So for us mediums, the fact that our loved ones are still with us is something we get to experience every day.

I am an evidential medium, which means that, during a reading, I provide unique verifiable details about your loved ones that only you could know. But giving evidence – as we mediums call it – is about so much more than proving your loved ones are still with you. Often, the evidence I bring through are about positive meaningful memories you share. They are there to remind you that in thinking about those memories, you can instantly connect to the presence of your loved ones. And while a medium can assist and remind you of that memory in a powerful way, you can conjure up your happy shared moments yourself at any time.

With gratitude,

Rick Vandermeer